I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
