overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
We have started to decorate penises.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
