Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
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