As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical�
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
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