You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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