I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Randomize
