I didn't shave. On purpose
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
