I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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