the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
