Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
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