Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
