she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Randomize
