Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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