Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
