Three words: puerto rican gang bang
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
