Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
