if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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