nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
