I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
