you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Randomize
