The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
