At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Randomize
