I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
