I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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