Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
