Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
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