No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Randomize
