Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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