I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
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