I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
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