508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
