You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
