BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Randomize
