Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
