I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Randomize
