I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
