At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
