I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
