the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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