Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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