i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
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