umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
