Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
no. you can't hotbox the world.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
