how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
