Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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