I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
