In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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