bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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