So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Randomize
