I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
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